Four years ago we gave my dad a beach chair and towel for Father's Day. He loved the beach and, well into his seventies, was still having a swim most days when the weather was nice.
From one sort of hindsight it was a silly Father's Day gift. He was battling pancreatic cancer and he died three weeks later. There was only one more good beach day left for him. My daughter, my dad and I went to the beach on one of those beautiful sunny days without a cloud in the sky. We didn't stay too long because the chemo made him susceptible to sunburn, but we got there.
From another sort of hindsight, it was the best gift I could have gotten him. Our journey, and it truly was a family journey with everyone pitching in and helping out, was a story of hope. We never gave up hope, which, especially in dire circumstances, is a good thing. Even though our definition of hope changed along the way, my dad lived each day to the fullest as long as he absolutely could.
On top of that, he never stopped being cheerful - even at the end. He said he'd lived a good long time and we had a chance to be a family and say goodbye, so the circumstances were a gift.
That's probably one of the best gifts my dad gave me. To look at the positive, and not spend too much time being negative and complaining.
The others were to be nice, to be humble, work hard and work well, and to live your life to the fullest. I can't count the number of people who told us how nice my dad was after he died. From the humble perspective, I didn't even know some of what he had done in his long career as an aeronautical engineer of international renown.
Father's Day is a good time to remember those lessons from my father, and most of us, myself included, having to work hard at work, and at being nice, humble, and positive. It doesn't really come that naturally unless you're one of those special people who are always kind.
Thanks, Dad. I miss you.
A friend of mine, whose dad also died from pancreatic cancer, said to me today that our dads are shining stars... And, despite the passage of time, they are shining over us and they are always with us. in the dark night sky, in the sunlight, and in the essence of our every day lives.
More: Without Hope You Have Nothing
